3 (Expensive) Lessons I Learned from Investing in Coaching — So You Don’t Have To

I’ve invested thousands of dollars into coaching over the years — some of it well spent, some of it... not so much. But every investment taught me something valuable, even if the value wasn’t what I expected.

If you're thinking about hiring a coach, let me share three costly lessons I learned the hard way — to help you avoid the same mistakes and make empowered, informed choices.

1. More Time Doesn’t Equal More Value

There was a time I believed the most valuable coaching packages were the ones with “unlimited access.” Daily Voxer support. Open-door policies. Anytime check-ins.

It felt like I was getting more for my money.

In reality, what I got was less transformation and more dependency.

The truth? Deep growth happens in intentional, structured spaces — not in never-ending voice notes or blurred boundaries. It’s not the amount of time you have with a coach, but the depth and clarity of that time that drives real results.

That’s why my coaching programs are time-bound and outcome-focused. You’re not paying for my time. You’re investing in your own transformation.

2. There’s a Difference Between Theory and Lived Experience

Some of the most disappointing investments I made were with coaches who had brilliant frameworks… but no lived experience behind them.

They spoke the language of personal growth but hadn’t actually walked the path I was on.

They couldn't hold space for the depth of my process, simply because they hadn’t been there themselves.

That’s why my work is rooted in my own healing. Every client journey I support comes from a place of deep empathy, not theory. I know what it means to unravel and rebuild. I’ve lived it. I am the work before I teach it.

3. Integrity is Saying “No” — Even When It Costs You

Perhaps the most expensive lesson was learning how damaging it is to work with the wrong coach.

Sometimes I wasn’t ready — but the coach didn’t say so. Other times, my unique circumstances were forced into a rigid, one-size-fits-all container.

The result? Frustration, burnout, and zero progress.

That’s why I don’t say “yes” to every client. I have honest conversations. I ask hard questions. If we’re not aligned, I’ll say so — and I’ll point you to someone who is.

Because I care more about your growth than my revenue.

So, What Should You Ask Before Hiring a Coach?

To avoid making the same costly mistakes I did, ask your potential coach these three questions:

• What’s your personal experience with the challenges I’m facing?

• Why is your program structured the way it is?

• When do you say “no” to a client?

A coach with integrity will welcome these questions. A coach who dodges them? That’s your answer.

Final Thoughts

None of my investments were failures — they were lessons in clarity. They helped me become the coach I wish I’d had. One grounded in lived experience, firm boundaries, and honest alignment.

If you’re considering investing in coaching, don’t just look for hype or access. Look for integrity. Ask the questions. Protect your energy.

✨ And if you’ve made a painful investment in the past, you didn’t fail. You learned. And that wisdom will guide your next step.